Not metal as in metallic, but metal as in holy crap look at those labels–SO METAL.

First, there’s a new Game of Thrones brew, and it’s about as metal as it gets:

I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children…until I try this beer.

If you don’t understand the title (or don’t read/watch Game of Thrones), just check out this absurdly METAL oath pledged by members of the “Night’s Watch”, called “Taking the black”:

Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my death. I shall take no wife, hold no lands, father no children. I shall wear no crowns and win no glory. I shall live and die at my post. I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls. I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge my life and honor to the Night’s Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.

That might as well be actual metal lyrics, right?

The other totally metal’d out beer announced recently is the new Jester King “Viking Metal”.  Just look at this inviting visage:

Family-friendly

It’s not in cans, so do not attempt to consume it on your longship journey to Northumbria.  Don’t worry, there will be plenty of ale when you arrive–you just have to take it from the fleeing townspeople.

Both beers are likely suitable both for the first men and the subjects of Gorm the Old.